With all this talk about the yule ball, part of me is thinking that I should not even go at all. A dance of this high standards, why should I bother. This is Varti's thing, not mine. I never been one for dancing and finding which boy to go with, because honestly? Who wants to go with a bookworm such as myself? i am too serious for the boys around here and I don't blame them for choosing the other girls over me. Yeah I am pretty and all, but that's where all the girly things about me end. I don't know, I guess I am just really not sure if I want to go or not. Plus if I do go now, where do I go about getting a dress this close?

{Private to self, but friends can see}

I am glad though that all the talk about what happened at the starting feast is over. The facts are not all there, so the Slytherins have no proof that Harry is guilty. And as a member of the DA I am on his side that he was tricked, or something along those lines. It was too dark to see a thing so the odds of the Slytherins actually knowing who did it is totally wrong here. Plus, I have a feeling something is going to happen. Not sure what, but I have this feeling in my bones that we are in for worse times than we have in the past. I just hope I am wrong, since in the back of my mind, I know I am right.. I dunno. I am overanalyzing everything. I better stop while I am ahead....

I guess that is all for me. I'll be in the library if anyone wants to join me.

Current Mood: discontent

I'm sorry to make you look bad in front of the whole wizarding world, but there was never a pact that said that Slytherins can't date outside of their house, and if who you speak of is hiding his true feelings for me, then that is news to me, for he would have told me by now. Besides, I am pureblood, so was that comment even neccassary?

{Private to self, but close friends can read}

I am not sure why, but I sense that this is the calm before the storm. Things have been too quiet on the darker side of things, and that is unusual for the house that usually causes the most stir around here. It's like we are all waiting for something to happen and part of me is wondering when it will happen. I hate putting the blame on the Slytherin house,but I sense something is in the works for them, like they are planning something that invlolves our side in some way, but I am not sure what it could be. All I can say is to keep both eyes open, if you know what I mean. I just wish I didn't have as strong feelings for him as I do..I know he's on the wrong side, but I have a feeling it might just to get information about the DA.. That information will be hidden as much as possible, for what I know is not to be known to anyone else...

I hate feeling this way, but I am more restless than normal, and I can't put my finger on why that can be. At least the nightmares have disambanded some, but not entirely. I am just glad they are not appearing every night like they were a while ago. Maybe that sleeping potion I made seems to be helping some and that is a good thing, since it eases my mind so I can sleep better and easier. Not tossing and turning through the night like before. Maybe this is a good thing? I am not sure, but whatever it is, I hope it continues to work.
{End Private}

{private to DA}

What is the next move for us, and have you got any new information to report?
{End Private}>

The ball was completely unexpected, not to mention fun. Truth be told, I was not looking forward to going because I didn't have a date to go with, and it seemed pretty obvious that no one really wanted to go with me anyways. I do have a feeling that was my fault anyway, since I don't put myself out there enough. But when you are a shy person such as myself, things like this tend to be really hard, though I don't mind dressing up and hiding behind a mask. I got inspiration for my dress by listening to Phantom of the Opera, a muggle musical I happen to enjoy and took one of my dresses and charmed it to look kinda like what the main character would wear. And I decorated the mask so I was all sorts of creative. It was nice to dress up and hide for a while, though I think that is part of the fun, especially with the person you are dancing with. You are completely hidden and you are guessing who is behind the mask. It makes it more interesting I think.

But really, I didn't plan on going and lo and behold I was there and I wound up dancing with possibly the best dancer I have ever danced with since I been to Hogwarts. He seemed to guess who I was right off and to think I thought I was doing a good job of hiding my identity. But I knew who he was too, so I should not be saying much. ;) But I am not naming names but he knows who he is. And I want to thank him for the great time and the lovely dance. I hope there are more to come even if we are on different sides of the spectrum. I am suprised how much fun I had and I wonder if this is the beginning of me comming out of my shell. We'll see though. Suprising things have happened here at Hogwarts so we shall see what becomes of it. All I know is that I had the best time at the ball and I wished it would have lasted longer. But you have to go back to real life somehow. To the person I danced with, thank you for dancing with me. It was more fun than I imagined.

{Private to self, but close friends and the DA can read}

My nightmares seemed to have stopped recently, but I am not betting on them stopping forever. I know they will start to appear again, so I decided to make a sleeping potion for when I sleep so i won't have the nightmares. It seems to be working for now, but I am not sure how long it will be before they start surfacing again. My sister would probably tell me it's nothing, but you know her. She looks to the stars for answers, and I don't so who really knows what is causing this. All I know is that I have a bad feeling something we are not prepared for is comming. What it is, I am not sure, but I think it is wise we keep our gaurd up. Who knows what lurks in the darkness. I just hope I am wrong. I just want to get through this year without anything remotely bad happening. The odds of that happening are one in a million.
{End Private}

Off to the lake to do homework. Come find me if you wish.

~*~Padma~*~

Current Mood: contemplative

Hexed privately to self, but close friends can break

I keep forgetting to write in this thing. I am not even sure why I even bothered to have one. I have nothing of real importance to say like everyone. I much rather hide than anything else, but I do know several people are either mad or dissapointed in me for not saying anything during the food fight at the Ravencalw table. the truth of the matter was the face I had other things on my mind and before I knew it, the Professors had gotten involved. Maybe this is a lesson to me of the fact that I should pay more attention than spacing out like I had obviously done that night. I may hate being center of attention, but if that is what it is going to take to take control of my house, then I am going to do it. The good thing is that nothing else has happened. Now I am keeping a sharp eye on everything and nothing is going to get by me. I don't care what I have to do, but I am going to do it. Just to make sure no one else torments my house and causes another fight. This year I am determined to do two things. Watch over my house and get myself out of the dark. If I can do that, then I wi;ll suprise myself by actually doing it. Here is to wishful thinking...
End Private

I have nothing else to say, really. If you want to talk to me, I'll be out on the grounds. I wish I was not so boring. Maybe then people would want to talk to me...

Current Mood: discontent